Category Archives: Humor

pez info

Did you know that the common package of Pez candies has 9g of sugar according to the nutrition information on the outer packaging. These seems somewhat logical considering that the little candy dispensers practically spit out solid sugar cubes. However, the interesting fact is that when you look on the wrapper from around the actual candies, it says “Net wt. 8.5g” on the label. Now, math has never been my favorite subject, but something just seems a bit off to me there. Maybe I’m just stupid, but from my understanding, the Metric system is pretty tight when measuring the mass of something. Explanation anyone? On second thought, I don’t want to know. If there *is* a logical explanation, that would make this entry much less funny.

funny message

“Helen, this is your sister Louise…. I am calling you…. Call me back hun. Bye now.”

This is the message waiting on my answering machine when I got in from work. I’ve never gotten around to actually recording an outgoing message on it, and this is one reason that I don’t know if I ever will. I mean, come on, Louise. You don’t even know your own sister’s phone number?! Give me a break! What’s even funnier is that I swear I’ve gotten a message from Louise in the past as well that said something about “It’s X O’Clock and you’re not here yet, just wondering where you are,” but that could’ve been some other old lady. Ahh…. Great great stuff. Maybe I should try and capture the message and store it on here for future laughs.

mba?

l0nd0n had a link on his blog today for a the FedEx commercial “Doomed” where the men over dramatize the shipping problem they have. While checking it out, i found *my* personal favorite, the “I have an MBA…” ad. Check it out! (Quicktime or it’s alternative required.)

Tech Support Scare

My parents are switching to BellSouth for their dial-up access at home and I’m a bit concerned. I’ve known a few people with the service who haven’t had any problems, but I was a bit alarmed by a Support Technician the other day. Last Wednesday, my dad activated the service and waited for me to come home and set it up. So I get there on Saturday and he has the username, password, and access number all written down and ready to go. So easy enough I thought, and I proceeded to setup the dial-up connection on WinXP. [I'm going to shorten this for any of you who really don't care. For those of you technically interested, click on the "more" link and read on.]

The moral of the story is simply this: no matter what type of access you use to get online (dial-up, cable, dsl, isdn…), you NEED a firewall of some sort. If you’re on dial-up, the one included in XP is fine, or grab one from Zone Alarm or Sygate.
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in agreement

Disclaimer: I stole this directly from Eric’s blog.

Apparently, it’s Robin Williams’ plan for world peace. I can’t really argue with any of the points he makes either.

1) The US will apologize to the world for our “interference” in their affairs, past & present. We will promise never to “interfere” again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea and the Philippines. They don’t want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No more sneaking the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We’ll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of who or where they are. France would welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 day visits unless given a special permit. No one from a terrorist nation would be allowed in. If you don’t like it there, change it yourself. Don’t hide here. Asylum would not ever be available to anyone. We don’t need any more
cab drivers.

5) No “students” over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don’t attend classes, they get a “D” and it’s back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self sufficient energy wise. This will include developing non polluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don’t like it, we go someplace else.

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not “interfere”. They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides, most of what we give them gets “lost” or is taken by their army. The people who need it most get very
little, anyway.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an island some place. We don’t need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, it would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) Use the buildings as replacement for the twin towers.

11) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us “Ugly Americans” any longer.

12) Now, isn’t that a winner of a plan.

13) “The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying ‘Give me your poor, your tired, your huddled masses.’ She’s got a baseball bat and she’s yelling, ‘You want a piece of me?’

For me personally, I think #4 makes an excellent point, but that’s just me.