must kill spam

The comment spam has t' stop. And swab the deck! Now, not later. So, before ye non-geekspeak fans ignore th' rest o' this post, do me a favor and link t' it on yer blog or wherever else ye can get it linked t'. If ye don’t have anyway t' link it, email all yer maties who are bloggers and have them post a link fer all I care. Aarrr! I just want this post t' get noticed by as many people as possible, indexed by as many search engines possible, and somethin' t' be done about it.

I’m tired o' it. I’m about t' turn me comments off fer a few days (on this blog and on Bonnie’s I guess) and see if this spammer will go away. For three days straight now, I’ve woken up t' 101, 63, and 57 (respectively) emails in me inbox sayin' that there are comments awaitin' moderation. Now, as usual, not a single one has been posted, meanin' that th' spammer has been unsuccessful in their attempts. But this is ridiculous, pass the grog, with a chest full of booty! I refuse t' continue t' deal with it anymore. I suppose in that regard they have been successful in some unintended annoyin' way. To all o' ye who comment, thanks a million, I hope t' be able t' restore this “privilege” t' ye soon.

I have no idea if I have any WordPress developers, plug-in authors, or just PHP coders readin' me site, but if so, here is a call out t' ye: I know that comments are automatically inserted in th' database when submitted, then comment moderation rules are checked, and if pases, it’s posted. Smart. If it’s not, it’s held in a general queue. My proposition requires a few minor changes t' th' core o' WordPress, and a bottle of rum, pass the grog! One, blacklistin' via th' moderation keys database field must be in th' default. Shiver me timbers! I suppose this is already in place in some form, just not sure if it would work with me idea. Whitelistin' is already in th' nearin' release o' 1.3, so that will help this matter, and dinna spare the whip! Secondly, a slight change t' th' ‘comment_approved’ field in th' ‘comments’ table in th' database t' allow a few choices: approved, unapproved, and blacklisted: Then, we’ll need t' separate th' moderation queues fer unapproved and blacklisted comments so that it’s easier t' manage “normal” unapproved, legitimate comments and those caught by th' blacklist which will 99.9% o' th' time be spam. What I would like most at this stage in th' process is an option t' automatically delete those directed t' th' “blacklisted” queue and th' moderation keys field in th' database be updated with th' new spammer’s information.

Now, there are a couple plugins aroun' that *could* probably be a good basis fer buildin' this functionality, we'll keel-haul ye! And swab the deck! Kitten’s Spam Killer deletes any comment flagged fer moderation, and should easily be adjusted t' change th' status t' “unapproved” rather than just deletin' th' comment and then deletin' those that don’t pass th' blacklistin' rules. The final piece o' this puzzle would be Dougal’s Spammer Tar Pit t' immediately block access t' all WordPress powered PHP pages on yer site if any o' th' information submitted in th' comment is spam as flagged by th' moderation keys.

Can we just solve th' problem, pretty please?